I’m drafting up the maxaloones blog, so it will be available next post. I know I totally slacked, but I actually had two sick kids and I started working part time again…I know, it’s crazy. So instead of maxaloones, I’ll be talking about how motherhood changed me. For the good of course.
A few days ago, I was walking in the store, when a woman approached me. She asked me if all three of my kids were my kids. I replied, “Yes.” With a nice smile, I kept walking, and she replied, “They’re cute.” Now I’d like to think she meant that, which I do believe she did. However, I know she didn’t ask if they were all mine because she thought they were cute. She asked me because I look super young. Naturally, I am twenty four years old with three kids, so yes, I’m young…BUT age does not define the quality of motherhood.
As I got into my car, I started to think. I wasn’t offended because I have dealt with the looks for many years… almost eight to be exact, since I had my oldest at 16. But I did decide that too many people stereotype mothers by age, looks, etc…So why not share how motherhood can truly mold a woman’s values, morals, and personality traits? People always say that motherhood can be life altering, but how so? Here’s how motherhood changed me…
I don’t even quite think you can say that it changed me. I was young, so young, that I really didn’t know what I valued yet. I mean I was dumb enough to have unprotected sex, so that gives you an idea of how much I thought about values. I was fifteen when I got pregnant, and only sixteen when I delivered my Layla. I had no idea what I was in for. I never really even babysat a kid before that. I never once thought in my mind that by choosing to have unprotected sex, I was allowing the possibility of having a child with someone, someone who I would have to communicate with for the rest of my life about our child. But then I held my Layla in my arms, and I knew that I would strive to be the best possible mother. I would be her protector, her comfort, her best friend, her shoulder, her guide, and what I didn’t realize right at that moment, but I have learned is that she would also be mine along with Grace and Henry.
After having Layla, I felt like I instantly grew up. I didn’t, but I made big strides in my values and morals especially with an enormous amount of responsibility. Her father, wasn’t helpful…honestly, still isn’t. If you would have asked me three years ago if this bothered me, I would have said yes. But while my children grow, I grow…and I grow to learn that holding a grudge is letting a person win…forgiving but never forgetting frees your soul. My family was my help. My mother was my role model, and I like to think I followed well. After a few years, I had my two other children with my amazing hubs. He’s my rock, always putting up with me, and me always putting up with him. You remember my fourth kid in my prior posts right:) Yeahhhh I’ll be in trouble for that comment…
So here’s a list of just a few things of how motherhood changed me:
1. I learned the true meaning of patience. Everyone has some, but not like a mother needs. Patience has helped me get on the same level with my children. How they see it. That’s so important because they are like little seeds. They just started to sprout, but have not grown, so to expect them to know why they must clean rooms or use nice words is something they have to learn. Learning takes time.
2. Priorities change. Before I had kids, I had dreams of top ranked colleges and an editors job in New York City. I hate that people say you lose those dreams. You don’t, you just change your dreams. My dreams now? Being a great mother and wife, and taking the time I need for myself.
3. Number two brings me to number three…Make time for yourself. And I don’t mean go to a movie. I mean think about what hobby actually makes you enjoy your time. I personally love to crochet, read, blog, sew…those are just a few. These things are things I can do when the kiddos go to bed and I truly get in touch with myself.
4. Throw your judging out the door. The more time you spend judging others, the less time you have helping your children blossom, along with yourself. Plus, you’re a role model now. What you did, your kids do.
5. Your husband needs your time too. Your SO needs quality time with you too. Whether its two hours before work, or two hours after the kids go to bed, take the time out of your day to say Hey how was your day. It’s so important to communicate and show that you care. Three kids all day by myself is chaos, but when my hubs walks in the door, taking a second to ask how he is, is HUGE, its meaningful to him and meaningful to me. He knows I do all I can even if half the house is a tornado.
6. Cherish your moments. Babies grow. They grow so fast. And loved ones age. Time doesn’t stand still, so make those moments last.
Okay, so here’s just some of the things that I learned. I’ll go ahead and share some more tomorrow, but I’d love if you all could share how motherhood has made an impact in your life. What have you learned?